I have read so many quotes and posts that getting married can ruin all your travel plans. I was also not exceptional. I was so much scared of getting married. I also thought that after getting married my freedom would be taken away under family responsibilities, job pressure and other additional responsibilities as you can count. You cannot travel as before; you get bounded by one person and other liability that come with it.
Does this mean we don’t have to get married for Travelling? Is it like Marriage can ruin your travel plans?? – A Big question.
Let me take you to the story of my marriage:
Before marrying to this Guy (My Husband), I had looked upon to so many faces, professionals to doctors, CA to Engineers and all sorts of boys you can count. I was literally fed up from marriage system, I had almost given up as many guys rejected me and I had rejected a few. Whenever I discussed with them about my future plans, my travel dreams, continuing my job and so on, I couldn’t meet any single guy who could understand my passion and ambitions. I had earlier mentioned that I am coming from a society who believes in traditional values.
When I met my husband, through a marriage proposal by my relative and things went well; I met him just like a usual meeting that happens in an arranged marriage. I openly discussed everything as me being ambitious and career-oriented women, at the same time I also expressed my love and passion for travelling.
My Husband replied at that time;
“You can go anywhere, whenever you want; either with friends or family and you can even travel alone”
I was shocked hearing that, I pinched myself and thought I heard it right or not.
And without any second thought I said “Big YES” and after 6 months we got married by traditional rituals.
Now I can say that getting “Married” was the best decision ever. It is important in marriage that your life partner understands about your personal choices. I am never fond of Indian marriage system. Also, there was a time when traditionalism of society, the concern of our families and obligations to relationship stopped us from taking trips. As being women, many people comment you are trying to escape from responsibilities, you have obligations towards your family and blah blah. However, our own fear also stopped us from what we have seen and heard from surroundings around us. But travel itself is a journey on for entire lives.
For me, the marriage turned out to escape from all traditional views from society and cohered to my choice of travel alone or with anyone I am comfortable with. Being financially independent girl, I decided to go ahead with my decision towards my travel dreams and aspirations. I am also lucky my parents have grown up me unlike others and didn’t pressure me to marry with anyone who is not according to my choice.
After my marriage, I travelled to 18 cities/towns in India and 6 cities in another country. Isn’t it sounding pretty good? I visited these places either alone or with friends and few with my husband. It is my husband who encouraged me to start a travel blog and he is the backbone for pushing me up about my travel. He is the person who motivates me and supports me to follow my dreams.
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Whenever I begin a new journey, people look at me in awe and tell me I am lucky. But I must say my husband is also lucky, as I am also respecting his personal choices. I have also seen many couples, who travel together, but due to job responsibilities of my husband, he cannot join me frequently and it is OK if I go alone whenever I want. If he cannot join me in my travel, I compliment him by cooking the different dishes whenever I am at home. This is more about understanding about each other’s personal choices. I met few foreigners also who travel alone or with friends despite being married. So, marriage is not actually a problem that let us not to travel more, but that is only our feelings which we are not conveying to our partners that should be communicated. Society has been changed, now people have begun understanding the need of personal space and dreams.
Before getting married communicate with your future partner and do not make yourself a fool that marriage or commitment to a person for the lifetime would put a full stop on all your dreams and travel plans. We all have a right to make best of our lives with the support of our partner and family whom we love. Travel more, travel far, travel light.
This doesn’t at all mean you ignore your life partner if he is busy with his works/job. Making the things simpler and easier; list out the places of your choice where you want to go alone or with friends/family and choose few places where you and your life partner both enjoy some time together.
When I first time travelled without my husband, being separated for few days, it helped us in making our relationship bond more stronger with each other, it turned out like empty space created at house can lead to respecting your partner more than ever you do and for me freedom is the best thing I can have. These little things can also impact on your life a lot.
I want to say in the end that being married is not just end to travel dreams and any of your ambitions, but it is a journey that never ends!!!! You just need to Communicate and to be out of traditional notions which surround us.
Mayuri Patel, Born and brought up in Gujarat and working as full-time engineer owns the travel blog, https://fernwehrahee.com; she was never was never wayfarer; She didn’t take any trip in India until she was 23 years old. After coming back with the first trip to Rajasthan in 2011 fell in Love with travelling and then gradually trips to different places in India converted to lust and passion and became a traveller. In the past 5 years, her journey took her to numerous places in India and abroad. Her blog is all about inspiring you to travel and how you can balance the travel along with family, full-time job and household life.
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